Bachelor Recap: The Orthopedic Capital

We are back in Warsaw, Indiana, the Orthopedic Capital you guys, if you didn’t see from that sign. Warsaw is in full fall splendor. Ben is apparently a 50’s greaser in his hometown with his rolled up jeans and black leather jacket with the popped collar driving an old Chevy pick-up.The Bachelor, Ben
Ben meets his parents in the neighborhood diner, which is just charming. I love Small Town, USA. He lets them know he brought six girls home with him and basically tells them he likes JoJo and Lauren the most, Caila and Amanda are hot, Becca is “eh” and Twin is just along for the ride. Ben picks up all the girls in a pontoon boat and delivers them to a little home on the lake where they’ll be staying. Ben shares that the house is on the same lake as his parents and makes some weird joke about his parents having sex. Yeesh.
First date is with Lauren…because he is in LOVE with her. To note: Ben’s hair has much improved since the beginning of the season and Lauren has zits on her chin which makes me feel better about myself. Ben gives Lauren the grand tour of Warsaw including his elementary school, his high school, his church and the movie theater where he had his first kiss. Ben then takes Lauren to the Youth Center where he worked for four years. Of course he is still in touch with the director and the kids remember him. I mean…this guy. Ben surprises the kids by bringing a few of the Pacers back to the youth center and the kids’ heads explode. It’s really cute. Ben singles out this little kid who is crying in the corner and gets him to join in the fun. This is too much. I used to teach swimming and had crushes on every guy I taught with because I loved watching them with the kids. I would have been ALL ABOUT Ben if we worked at the youth center together in high school. Or now. I’m all about Ben now.
Lauren and Ben get down to what happened in the Bahamas last week, ie. when Leah threw her under the bus. Basically he tells her he does trust her, they smooch and then Ben takes her to meet his friends at the local dive bar. These two are smitten kittens.
JoJo gets the second one-on-one: Let’s Find Love in the Windy City! You guys, they were in Chicago and I didn’t know. Ben was mere steps from my home (like less than two miles) and I was not there to see him or creep on him. For myself, and for you dear readers, I apologize. These lucky ducks get to go on the field at Wrigley. He pitches her a few and she crushes it. This would be a really embarrassing date for me as I am potentially one of the worst baseball players of all time—just ask my former softball team. Ben says he is more himself with JoJo than any other girl (and he’s insanely attracted to her).
Back at the house, Caila, Amanda and Becca get the group date, which results in Twin ugly crying because she is so excited to have the one-on-one date. Sidenote: Can someone please explain what happened to Twin’s thumb? She has had an ENORMOUS bandage on it since Vegas and it’s gone unmentioned.
Back to Ben & JoJo. These maniacs get to have dinner on the field at Wrigley. Just this summer I was on the field (for a Billy Joel concert) and it was so unreal. I can only imagine what it’s like with no one else there. Ben digs in at dinner (not into the meal, obviously) and asks why JoJo is scared and holding back. He tells her he questions to what extent his feelings are there. She tells him she needs to feel safe to let go completely and that the insecurity has nothing to do with him, but with situations in her past in which she loved or gave more than the person she was with. Honestly, I hate these conversations and totally tune out. I’m sorry guys, it is not my strong suit. Overall, they like each other a lot and they’re pretty cute. I think she has more of a personality than Ben’s #1 gal, Lauren B. And is hotter. Jojo and Ben Higgins
The group date occurs on a farm, and they go rowing, which is odd because there are four of them so two girls have to sit together in a little rowboat. Caila bugs the bejesus out of me, but she does have some lovely shiny and bouncy hair that flows behind her while she is flying a kite. Ben brings the girls to a barn that is looks EXACTLY like the place that Chris dumped Becca before proposing to Whitney. Do you think she had flashbacks when she walked in there?
Ben throws a wrench in the date by saying that whoever gets the rose mid-date will get the rest of the day with him one-on-one while the other two girls head back home. Amanda chats about her kids and Ben is really supportive of that. Becca kinda tells Ben that she needs to hear that he’s into her. She likes him way more than she like Chris, that’s for sure. Caila tells Ben that she doesn’t have roots in her hometown because she moved 17 times before college (!), and she doesn’t have any place meaningful to show him. And then she says, “I’ve always pictured myself as moss and I’ve always been finding the perfect tree to growth with” followed by “I could move a lot. Or I couldn’t.” Thanks for the insight Caila. Ben gives the rose to Amanda and tells her he is excited to meet her family. He’s really going the distance with this teen mom! Becca is finally melting down and says, “I don’t want to feel this way with someone I’m trying to fall in love with.” Here’s a tip Becca…maybe if you don’t try to find a boyfriend on reality television it won’t be this hard.
Ben takes Amanda to…McDonalds “because that’s a normal thing for me.” This is a full out ad for all day breakfast, because I’ve seen Ben on the McD’s commercials. If I was Amanda I would be livid. And then I’d order a two cheeseburger meal with fries and a diet coke.
Amanda tells Ben that she’s never introduced anyone to her kids before. Well girlfriend, your youngest is only one year old so let’s hope not. After Mickey D’s, Ben takes Amanda to the town carnival. They are painting Warsaw as Hometown, USA, however, I received word from a dear reader that has family in Warsaw the lake is disgusting and Warsaw is not all ABC is portraying it to be aka The Orthopedic Capital.
Emily gets her one-on-one date: “Home is Where the Heart Is”. She gets picked up in the pontoon boat and Ben takes her home to meet his mom and dad. Caila describes Emily as “a bright eyed puppy with so much to learn”. To note, Caila is one year older than Emily, but I kind of see her point. Mom pulls Emily aside and Emily just nonstop talks, making little to no sense, including telling the Mom that one of her dreams is to be an NFL cheerleader. Just what every potential mother-in-law wants to hear. Mom says to the camera, “She’s definitely a ‘fun’ individual. Maybe she’s a little young for Ben.” This is her face the whole time Twin is spewing useless information at her. And then she cries while telling Ben what she thinks about Emily. Oooh, not a good sign Em. ben-higgins-mom-bachelorHe brings Emily back to the dock immediately after his visit with parents and says “I’ve been amazed at who you are, but I don’t think I can see you being my wife.” Poor Ben starts tearing up because he is a genuinely nice person and doesn’t like hurting people. This is all occurring while the other girls are watching through the window, which seems rude. However, we get more UGLY CRY. YAY! And then everyone else starts crying too when she walks in the house! It’s kinda fab. Twin is very diplomatic in her car ride to the airport, saying she feels blessed by the experience to get to know Ben and whoever ends up with him his very lucky.
Rose Ceremony Time
The rose ceremony takes place in town square and it looks like a Salem witch trial. The girls are freezing their buns off. Ben takes a few moments with his main man, Chris Harrison, to tell him that he doesn’t know what he’s going to do. Chris asks Ben if he can truly see each of these women as his wife, and he replies that there is one woman who has not gotten to the place that the others have. Tim & I guess Becca. Lauren gets the first rose. Duh. JoJo gets the second rose. It’s between Becca and Caila for the final rose. The final rose goes to Caila. Becca and her wax figure face are genuinely upset. She is like “Why did you do that?” which is fair actually, as she asked him the day before not to blindside her. Ben states he genuinely didn’t know who he was going to keep until that moment which is kind of a cop out. Maybe Becca should try out Tinder like all other girls her age.Second try: Becca was sent home from The Bachelor for a second time
Next Week: Hometowns! From the look of it, JoJo’s brothers ruin everything, Amanda’s kids are normal toddlers which scares the hell out of Ben, and Caila’s dad is a supercreep. Should be fun!
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2 thoughts on “Bachelor Recap: The Orthopedic Capital

  1. The whole time I was watching I was so excited for your reaction to 1.) McDonald’s 2.) Twin’s awkward talk with Mom. Wish we could watch together!

    Like

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