Bachelorette Recap: After the Final Rose

We meet the lovebirds. And see the rock. Gorgeous and very sparkly! 

 K looks mighty tan and very pretty. She says today feels like Christmas morning and is doing a lot of gazing. 

Shawn shares a photo he sent to his friends when she got sent home from last season. Hilarious.  

 Shawn is doing a lot of aggressive arm rubbing. That would annoy the bejesus out of me.  

 Here comes good ol’ Nick. Set to some very dramatic and sad music. Chris says, “Welp, you and I are here again”. Way to rub it in CH. Nick’s beard looks like pubic hair. Chris delves into the “pre-existing relationship” between Nick & Kaitlyn. Apparently they moved from text messaging to talking on the phone and video chats. And then she found out she was going to be The Bachelorette. Weird. But it does explain the sexy time.   

In response to being asked about Shawn, Nick says “We weren’t our best selves”. And he handled it quite nicely and even gave Shawn and Kaitlyn credit. Chris keeps interrupting him and is really pushing the Shawn vs. Nick agenda. I mean, isn’t it over? Shawn won. 

Oh my god you guys, his stupid sister is crying again. Pull it together Bella! 

Shawn comes out to “confront” Nick and says, “You guys couldn’t find a bigger couch than this?” They are basically sitting on one another’s laps. Their feet are legit touching. Shawn still really doesn’t explain why he doesn’t like Nick and goes to his default of having a “bad feeling”. What he should say is that he realizes that Nick was his biggest competetion and leave it at that. Shawn seems a little defensive about his jealousy but then says that he’s made great friend out of the show including Ben H (!) “who also had a great connection with Kaitlyn”. Basically he said it was the producers. Chris keeps asking them to hug it out. Dude, they don’t want to hug. Just touch their feets.   

Now comes the Kaitlyn & Nick portion of the evening. He basically asks why she said I love you. And she answers by saying that she also loved Ben? Ultimately “no love was as strong as the love [I] had for Shawn”. Her eyebrows are real aggressive tonight. She’s making a lot of duck lips at Nick. I’m bored. 

They just replayed the breakup scene. The only thing worse than dumping someone on TV would maybe be watching it back when you’re sitting 10 inches away from them also on TV. Chris asks the question we’ve all been asking ourselves: “You say she took things from you. Like what?” (Clearly not his virginity). Basically he is pissed that she didn’t stop him before. Either earlier in the day or when he got out of the limo. Instead she let him talk until he reached into his pocket for the ring. Fair point Nick. Fair point. Although if you had looked at her face you would have known she was going to dump you.  

Dear Nick, I’m pretty sure the producers made her do this. Chris cuts it off real quick because he knows this and feels bad K is taking the heat. Back to the lovebirds. Shawn is most excited about being able to “stand up and defend his girl”. Chris does not push wedding plans like he usually does and then plugs Bachelor in Paradise. Worst After the Final Rose ever.Most importantly, why is there no Bachelor announcement? 

Bachelor in Paradise looks insane. I just do not think I can watch it. Too much drama for this mama. But I might do it for your Kristen Chipman! 


6 thoughts on “Bachelorette Recap: After the Final Rose

  1. Thank you for saving me three hours of my life! I begrudgingly watched this season, (complaining the whole time), but your recaps made it WAY more palatable. As in, oh good, I’m not the only one suffering through this! Sean will likely never get over the Nick thing. I support your “3 months” estimate. Next season better be good, or I’m done! *I also will be waiting for your Bachelor In Paradise recaps 😉 #ratface #crazyclare #kardashianvirgin


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