Bachelorette Recap: I’m A Slacker

The three day weekend threw me for a loop and I forgot to DVR the Bachelor. Thankfully my husband reminded me of it about halfway through, so I’m only recapping the last hour. Sorry chicks. I apparently missed some sort of boxing date in which Jared (rat face) got knocked out?

The second group date was at a comedy club. First of all, Amy Schumer! I love that lady. Overall, the guys did pretty well at stand up. I was impressed. And then Tony showed up. That guy is the effing worst. He just nonsensically spoke about how sensitive he can be. Unsurprisingly, he flopped. His best line of the night was “My heart means just as much to me as her love does to me.” WTF does that mean? Everyone hates him (me included).

I can’t keep the guys straight yet, but I’m liking that cute blonde guy that called himself “a love virgin”. I think he is the welder? Plus he has two English bulldogs. Sold!
JJ is a dick. No surprise he’s an investment banker. Fake crying about your daughter? Blech. Also, the kissing sounds are disgusting. No need to see the up close and personal tongue action. Then, despite having the date rose, goes on to pull Kaitlyn away as soon as the cocktail party starts even though the other guys agree to let the non-date guys get more time. #sorrynotsorry
Kaitlyn then goes on the kiss the southern guy, who looks like a less hot Johnny Knoxville, am I right? Again,disgusted about the aggressive kissing without even having much conversation. Keep it in your pants boys. You too Kaitlyn!
Ian was cute at the cocktail hour! He has a nice smile and I liked his “speed dating” concept. Then he went in for a smooch too. These boys! And then Kupah confronted Kaitlyn, she told him she wasn’t interested, and then he freaked out. Exciting, but I’m not sure it was worthy of a To be continued…
Frontrunners:
Joshua, the Industrial Welder. Clint, the Architectural Engineer (I guess she had a one-on-one date with him, but I missed it. Sorry all) and my boyfriend Shawn B.
Can we discuss how fake the Britt/guy who left the show to be with her clip was? “It’s been one week and we’ve hung out every day”. One week. I’m sure that will last my friends. 
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