Bachelorette Recap: Season Premiere

I din’t want to do it. But I did. I started watching The Bachelorette. I didn’t watch the whole thing, but I did want to see who would be picked and how the whole thing would play out. I did it for you! You’re welcome in advance.

Bachelorette Spoilers - Kaitlyn Bristowe or Britt Nilsson

Look how pissed Kaitlyn is and how dumb and happy Brit is. Hilarious. I was Team Kaitlyn heading into the premiere and I’m happy she was picked. She is much more entertaining, seems real and  I appreciate her sense of humor.

The crew these chicks have to pick from is WEAK. I don’t think any of these guys are attractive, their jobs cannot possibly be real and the gimmicks were ridiculous. Car “pool” and cupcake car? Lame.
My least favorite (besides the drunk guy that grabbed K’s ass, threw out a rape comment and then got kicked off the show) are:
1. Tony, the “healer”
He said the EXACT same thing to each girl when he got out of the limo. Tony, they are about 9 feet away from one another. They can hear you! Also, why didn’t anyone acknowledge the fact that he definitely had a black eye? I think that’s a red flag ladies.
2. Shawn E.

This guy should be eliminated based on his necklace alone. Add in that he was basically wearing lizard skin boots and is an “amateur sex coach” and it is clear he wasn’t going to make it through the first episode.
3. Jared

Jared looks like a dirty rat.
My favorites:
1. Shawn B.
AKA Ryan Gosling 2.0. He’s a personal trainer, surprise, surprise but seems genuine. I hope he sticks around.
2. Clint.

A hometown boy from Chicago!. Clint won me over by building a beautiful picture frame for K, and then drew a picture “of the only person [he] knew would be on the show”.

Yep, that Chris Harrison riding a triceratops. Fantastic.
In the previews for the season we find out that creepy ass Nick from Andi’s season comes back (Seriously, that guy is THE WORST!) and Kaitlyn sucks the life out of him through his mouth. The close up shots of making out are stomach turning. She also turns into a real skank and sleeps with someone early on (thank you ABC for making me listen to her moans) and then has to admit to the guys left that she had sex with one of the contestants. Keep it klassy Kaitlyn. Needless to say, I’ll be watching the entire season.
Were you team Britt or team Katilyn? Who were your favorites and who needs to go home?

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