That’s right my friends. I’m dedicated my Five on Friday to the Bachelor. While I usually avoid trashy TV , I am not even embarrassed to admit how much I like this show.
1. I loved the fact that Chris’ sisters came and met the ladies to select their choice for the Cinderella-themed date with Prince Farming (sidenote: that was the best thing Ashley I. has ever said). Jade seemed like a perfect choice: from small town Nebraska, slightly shy, seemingly normal. Future Mrs. Soules right there! And then. And then. We find out this week that by “clothes model” she meant “no clothes model”. Turns out she has posed for Playboy. Here is the safe for work/your eyes version:
I’m sure the sisters do not approve.
2. And what the eff happened to Kelsey? I thought she was a normal midwestern gal who was widowed too soon. I, in fact, even appreciated that she threw some love at Lake Michigan. Then she went crazytown. Calm down lady and just relax. You’re camping on a lake, not spending the day in prison.
3. As for Jillian, obviously she would win that race. No contest. She’s a beast.
But it was pretty clear she wasn’t going to get the rose from our friend Chris. I’m not quite sure why she played a really nasty version of Would You Rather on their date, but that maybe wasn’t her best move. That said, I’ll miss her and her blacked out butt.
4. This chick.
Why is she still there (besides for my amusement)? She pitched a fit that she was not asked to be on the princess date because everyone should know she is a princess, wore ridiculous folded down denim shorts, and then forced Chris into numerous conversations about her virginity. Dude, he gets it, you’re a virgin. It really isn’t that big a deal. Shut up.
5. I’ll miss this girlfriend the most.
I can’t even re-cap her conversation with Chris on the camping trip. It was nonsense. She told him she loved him. Then the next day when she didn’t get a rose she creeped out with a smile on her face and said she felt nothing. Insane. How amazing would it be if she was the next Bachelorette? Every episode would be so fun to watch. Producers, get on that.
My front runners:
Becca- The Other Virgin:
Pretty, appears normal, and is not being a total freak about the fact that she’s a virgin.
Carly, the cruise ship singer:
When she first stepped out of the limo in that twee pink dress carrying a kids karaoke machine and singing a song she made up about Chris, I wanted to kick her. But, despite her eyebrows, I really like her. She’s funny, down to earth and maybe would be okay living on a farm in Iowa based on her performance in Jimmy Kimmel’s amazing obstacle course.
Kaitlyn, the dance instructor:
I appreciate the fact that she is actually trying to have real conversations with Chris, as opposed to asking him ridiculous questions about what he wants in a future wife. It seems more organic. She’s also funny about the other girls in the house without being catty. If Chris doesn’t choose her, she’ll definitely be in the running for the next Bachelorette.
There is so much more I want to discuss, like all the lipstick, why the girls have not yet learned that they should not question why the Bachelor is keeping other girls around (I’m talking to you Britt) and why we haven’t seen one thing about Samantha. Who’s Samantha, you might be asking? Exactly.